Why Things Don’t Go To Plan

Why Things Don’t Go To Plan

The Eclipse, Superstitions, and Letting Go

The Lunar New Year celebration has finally begun. Congrats y’all. We finally made it to the fire horse. In this post we will be taking a break from deity work. I really hope to make these more personal writings feel more like a discussion than a lecture. So, I write during this ecliptic portal to pretty much decipher the messages I have been channeling through this period of rare astrological occurrences, as well as relay the... complications, you could say that I have been working through. Things haven’t been going wrong. Quite the contrary, actually. Life has never been better. These days I feel like I am seeing life with new eyes. It has made me realize how low my head has been for the last handful of years. I kept it down and worked hard so I could move across the country and start over in every way imaginable. It’s honestly so weird to be so stable. I feel like I am just getting started. I still have lengths to go in loving and understanding myself and this physical life. I wanted to channel and take advantage of the energetic portal happening, but the goddesses Laksmi and Aphrodite remind me I need to be fully in my body and in the present to receive my manifestations I have worked so hard on for so long. The ceremony grand had a different plan for me.

I have been planning a Lunar New Year ceremony for weeks. I have done so much research into the symbolism, the superstitions, and the planetary transitions, that I forgot to stop and ask myself how I was really feeling about the shift in energy. During the peak of this eclipse, I had been feeling tired and looking emotionally inward, but overall, pretty complete. As if nothing else had to be done. Only that things were meant to be enjoyed and received. I could feel what I needed, but my mind still expected things to go a certain way. I anticipated feeling a huge amount of energy to be surging through me and to be dancing and celebrating, because this is what I have been desperately waiting for. What's funny is how it took me forever to realize that's how my 1/11 portal ceremony was. I was trying to repeat energy that has already come and gone. Basically, I’m trying to do the most, putting all of this pressure on this one day to do it all and manifest everything for the rest of my life. It shows how badly I want my manifestations which I think is commendable, but it’s unfortunate I don’t know when to quit. My shoulders have been literally in pain because of all this weight. I was procrastinating going into ceremony because I felt disconnected. I was so stuck in the whole “this is how things are supposed to be” mindset. I’m sure you know the one. All I wanted to do after lighting my candles was sit in silence and eat chocolate. Before ceremony I was even wondering why I wasn’t feeling the power of fire. I was literally working with two goddesses associated with water, and I was reaching for all the Mangano calcite (crystal for emotional healing lol). It couldn’t have been clearer. Such denial.

You see, here is where the planning ahead and the daydreaming hurts me. I love thinking I have it all figured out. To be real, a lot of the time I do. I grew up hyper independent and became more and more painfully aware as I got older. Essentially, it appeases my brain when I think of everything and as I like to say, “make it easier for my future self.” It makes me feel safe because I know that I can depend on myself. The thing is, I spend so much time mapping out the future that I forget to be present and simply breathe properly. Countless sleepless nights because of my overactive thoughts ‘trying to make it easier for me.’ Anxious over the control that I never had to begin with. As you’d expect, my vigilance and constant questioning isn’t helping anything come about. I have been causing some burden and unnecessary resistance in my own life. Enough so that my guides completely took control of my fire horse ceremony and gave me a very gentle, loving redirection. I even drew an oracle card displaying burdens that I wanted to ignore; but when I actually let go and opened myself up to listen to the messages, I gained the proper wisdom of the ceremony. Humans like to think we have it all figured it out, but we don’t always know what we need. To learn and to grow is to make mistakes.

It really is okay if things don’t go to plan. In fact, it's even better if you’re able to redirect. This post is partly me engraining that into my skull. If you can feel and tune into your intuition, your soul will always tell you when to reroute. Our bodies are designed to naturally gravitate toward what we need/what matches our energy. I feel like it’s essential to know when the resistance isn’t worth it, and to ask if something could possibly not be aligned with you. This is a skill in witchcraft and in life. It’s all the same. It’s all connected. It’s impossible to control what is external of ourselves, so why do we bother so much? Maybe it’s the capitalistic timer in the back of our minds making us feel like we need a constant schedule and to be on top of everything. Always have somewhere to be, somewhere to go, or something to take care of. We hear the fire horse needs to be celebrated a certain way and act like it’s suddenly a universal law (or a fear). When there’s mass hysteria or something trending it’s easy to forget that it is our beliefs that truly shape our own reality. If a woman believes washing her hair will wash her blessings away, and she has been told that her entire life, then that really could manifest if she washed her hair on the new year. Hearing that one day on Tiktok is not going to suddenly make that manifest for you, because it is not a deeply rooted belief, and probably is not a part of your culture anyways.

I am sure we’ve all been hearing the same things. Seeing the same reels of the do’s and don’ts. What it’s all going to mean for your zodiac sign. As it goes, a lot of it can be scarily accurate, but the thing about social media is that most of it does not actually apply to you. It’s a system aiming to be perfectly catered. It doesn’t care or know how your body feels or what elementals are calling to you. The influencers I’ve seen have only spoken on fire this, fire that. Don’t shower. Don’t wash or cut your hair. Don’t clean. Don’t cook. Don’t wear earth tones. I’m like damn, am I allowed to do anything? I began to feel frightened to shower which is so backwards of my watery nature. I don’t even normally believe in superstitions, so really the whole thing is just odd. I only have positive associations with water like cleansing and healing. I would never genuinely think that doing something that makes me feel safe and good in my body would bring me harm or take away blessings. Still, I let those little videos seep into my subconscious.

What I’ve been needing is cleansing and recovery after the absolute most bizarre year of my entire existence. I need to let go of the control and the subconscious worry of what is to come. I need to be here and now. I need to feel my shoulders relax so I can finally sleep at night. What’s so insane is that we just transitioned into Pisces season and all of the energy I am picking up on is this water sign’s specialty. Piscean energy embodies the flow of the universe and is a master of emotional release and spiritual integration. The alignment was always there. Just in an unexpected, under my nose kind of way. A good shower would’ve done me right.

Really, you can’t force energy, no matter what’s trending, no matter what you hear and see, no matter what you think. It is only to be felt. A moving, driving force that you can work with or against. If things aren’t going your way, or what you expected, I believe it is simply realignment back to divine

abundance. I have to believe there is a plan much bigger than anything our minds could come up with. We can fixate on the process, but that doesn’t make what we want come any sooner. We can fight it and try to force things, but choosing to embody the flow state of the universe is well, much less taxing. I really trust that the universe, God, whatever you want to call the force wants the best for all of us. To essentially learn our lessons and reach our highest self. In the end, I decided to do the spell again a couple days later under the sunlight (abnormal for me, I normally work at night) with a different mindset going into it. I changed out the central plate of the spell from a red heart to a blue lotus design. I incorporated my spell jars and wrapped a red ribbon of fate around them with some of my hair. I rest assured all will flow to me that I desire. I let go of the notion that I have to always be taking care of everything. I give up on figuring everything out, because that is not my job and it never was.

So, turns out I didn’t have anything to really manifest on the Lunar New Year. My body was feeling like resting, receiving, and rejuvenating. Not movement or power. It is just so funny to me how I created the most beautiful spell of my life, and it was totally blocked from the beginning. I don’t even normally do a lot of manifesting during eclipse portals because they are known to be disruptive as their purpose is to quite literally set us back on track. If we don’t pick up on the messages and allow necessary changes to happen, things can become pretty volatile. I’d say all in all this eclipse was quite polite about the whole surrendering thing. I was out of my element to begin with on this one. I love pushing on ahead, my eagerness being to my detriment. I am also well aware life cannot fully reset until the energetic new year in March. I think I really just be stressing my guides out thanks to my utter impatience. "Just a little bit longer, a little bit longer!" I hear on repeat. The knowing feels like a curse sometimes I swear.

What sucks is that time on earth moves so slow. It takes as long as it takes for what we want to come in. It isn’t some sudden drastic shift right away. The energy coming in is so potent that it couldn’t possibly all rush in immediately. It’s a transition that takes time. What’s good is I’ve already done the work to bring about my dreams, and I’m thankful I have enough experience to figure out why things didn’t feel quite right. The foundation of the fire horse is an accumulation of soul lessons and growth over the last several years. The intentions have already been laid. I don’t think that any superstition or ‘claiming’ a reading on reels will be more real and powerful than your active intentions and manifestations. That’s comparable to how a spell the day of the beginning isn’t going to change the trajectory of the year ahead in a drastic way if you’ve already done the work.

Pretty much the lessons I have gathered and would like to share: your intentions and your craft do not need to be any certain type of way. No matter the season, no matter the energetic portal. Only you know what you truly need. It’s up to your discernment to feel what is the right message for you. Spells can be done again and again.

The only rules that exist are the ones that you believe to be true. Typically, if a plan doesn’t work out, there is deeper insight to be gained. You may not have or be seeing all of the pieces or you may be fighting the current. Letting go isn’t always about relinquishing something. It is also a form of attraction. Try not to get too caught up in how things are ‘supposed to be.’ Allow life to surprise you and enjoy what is right in front of you. When we let go of the ‘how,’ things magically fall into place. It’s about the experience, not the plan.

Love you so much. Thank you for reading.

Remember to stay magical, open-minded, and unwavering in your faith. Till next time!

With love & gratitude,

Raina

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